A friend (I'll use 'friend' here as it's less complicated, and doesn't then have to end up in a PL which I don't feel like writing now - phew) is at Parachute 07. When I mention this to people (in an "I'd rather be there than here" context), I get one of two reactions:
a) What's that?, or
b) Oh cool, I have friends/family there too!
For the 'what's that' people, I've inserted a link above. For those that can't be bothered, it is the largest Christian music festival in the Southern Hemisphere - 25,000 attendees and held over four days.
Now the reason I bring this up at all is because I was looking to the P07 schedule, and saw some names I recognised - for example, Nesian Mystik, a kiwi hip-hop pop band that burst onto the scene five years ago (who are incidentally also playing at the Edge fm Anniversary party tomorrow, Monday 29th Jan, at Coyle Park, Pt Chev.)
Looking further at the line-up showed some other bands that I know - and quite frankly I didn't expect that. The great news is that I've dug one of those bands out of the archives and listening to them again, namely Third Day. If any of you like the sound of say Nickelback or Creed, then from a musical and singing style, this band may be for you too. I'd encourage you to give them a try, and while you're there try MercyMe and Skillet too!
The other interesting surprise was my friend's reaction when I said I knew them - she wasn't expecting that either!
I love music. And without wanting to sound like I'm espousing simply because I've been listening to Christian rock all day - music really does transcend all. And that's pretty cool
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Friday, January 26, 2007
Plans Coming Together
I've been so hectic with the new job and other matters, I just have not had any time to post newsy stuff in here. Matters of the heart etc always take precedence naturally, hence PL postings and even one private diary entry. But anyway...
On Tuesday I booked my return trip to LA, and on Thursday my travel companion confirmed the LA-Denver leg. Wow! I know I have a countdown timer on my page, but this does kinda make things even more real! The accomodation's all sorted except for one night, but we're working on that. We're going to share a room with the San Fran girls, and then go back and hang with them before the second tournament in LA. I am so looking forward to visiting a new city and state, and revisiting an old one where I used to live, even if it was only for a few months.
And that's my travel plans sorted anyway.
And talking of travel, tomorrow I have some online buds arriving from England via Hong Kong. I'm not 100% sure that they haven't arrived already, we may have a date mix-up, but no matter... they will call/txt/email when they're ready to be taken on a whirlwind tour I'm sure. Not that I'm any good as a tour guide I don't think. Maybe they'll be too tired to notice :)
Talking of tired, that's me. I've had an emotional week where I didn't really want one - that last thing you need when you're starting a new job in a totally different field is to have late nights and sleeplessness due to affairs of the heart or mind.
I have a long weekend to get over it.
On Tuesday I booked my return trip to LA, and on Thursday my travel companion confirmed the LA-Denver leg. Wow! I know I have a countdown timer on my page, but this does kinda make things even more real! The accomodation's all sorted except for one night, but we're working on that. We're going to share a room with the San Fran girls, and then go back and hang with them before the second tournament in LA. I am so looking forward to visiting a new city and state, and revisiting an old one where I used to live, even if it was only for a few months.
And that's my travel plans sorted anyway.
And talking of travel, tomorrow I have some online buds arriving from England via Hong Kong. I'm not 100% sure that they haven't arrived already, we may have a date mix-up, but no matter... they will call/txt/email when they're ready to be taken on a whirlwind tour I'm sure. Not that I'm any good as a tour guide I don't think. Maybe they'll be too tired to notice :)
Talking of tired, that's me. I've had an emotional week where I didn't really want one - that last thing you need when you're starting a new job in a totally different field is to have late nights and sleeplessness due to affairs of the heart or mind.
I have a long weekend to get over it.
Questioning Emotional Risk
This was written in response to a conversation - essentially, I'm becoming a blogger on demand :)
Is it better to feel something good that might ultimately lead to hurt, or avoid the risk completely and theoretically control the level of pain involved? The cynical approach would be that it is bound to hurt anyway, therefore why make the emotional commitment? The eternal optimist will say that they go in with arms open wide and never think of a bad outcome.
How much of the heart we give while maintaining some defense against trampling depends perhaps on the lessons learned from previous experiences, and on occasion, some sort of resolve might come into the equation, i.e. "I will not allow myself to get in too deep", as useless as this may be in the long run.
And we make things more complicated for ourselves - we build those castles in the sky before understanding even where this journey might take us. In the world where two extremely emotional beings are seeking the ultimate in intimacy and understanding, we have a joke: What does a lesbian take on her second date? Everything.
It might be a limited-offer scenario, for example, one woman might be leaving the country for good in a week, a month, a year... and in analyzing the end before it's begun, we don't even allow ourselves to get to the starting gate.
What about chemistry... that 'wow' factor... those butterflies, the racing heart, the flush at the very thought of her? (Whether this is simply a sexual response or not is also open to debate.) Is it one-sided or is it that someone is working so hard on maintaining that reserve in order to avoid being hurt that it only appears one-sided? And round it goes.
Later on there may be evidence of compromise. Somehow you let her dreams become your only dreams, or perhaps your desires overpowered whatever her desires may have been. Too much compromise is simply accommodation. You may sell yourself out to keep the peace, to preserve the illusion of the relationship you have, to avoid an argument, but what would you be arguing about? Actually, admitting that some aspects of your life are being denied? But didn't you put yourself in that situation by over-compromising in the beginning?
I challenge you to wear your heart on your sleeve. Speak your mind, discuss your innermost thoughts. There is little point in hiding behind a facade when ultimately you want to be loved for who you truly are. The adage "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is perhaps the truest of all.
Don't go through life wondering where all the joy might have been.
Is it better to feel something good that might ultimately lead to hurt, or avoid the risk completely and theoretically control the level of pain involved? The cynical approach would be that it is bound to hurt anyway, therefore why make the emotional commitment? The eternal optimist will say that they go in with arms open wide and never think of a bad outcome.
How much of the heart we give while maintaining some defense against trampling depends perhaps on the lessons learned from previous experiences, and on occasion, some sort of resolve might come into the equation, i.e. "I will not allow myself to get in too deep", as useless as this may be in the long run.
And we make things more complicated for ourselves - we build those castles in the sky before understanding even where this journey might take us. In the world where two extremely emotional beings are seeking the ultimate in intimacy and understanding, we have a joke: What does a lesbian take on her second date? Everything.
It might be a limited-offer scenario, for example, one woman might be leaving the country for good in a week, a month, a year... and in analyzing the end before it's begun, we don't even allow ourselves to get to the starting gate.
What about chemistry... that 'wow' factor... those butterflies, the racing heart, the flush at the very thought of her? (Whether this is simply a sexual response or not is also open to debate.) Is it one-sided or is it that someone is working so hard on maintaining that reserve in order to avoid being hurt that it only appears one-sided? And round it goes.
Later on there may be evidence of compromise. Somehow you let her dreams become your only dreams, or perhaps your desires overpowered whatever her desires may have been. Too much compromise is simply accommodation. You may sell yourself out to keep the peace, to preserve the illusion of the relationship you have, to avoid an argument, but what would you be arguing about? Actually, admitting that some aspects of your life are being denied? But didn't you put yourself in that situation by over-compromising in the beginning?
I challenge you to wear your heart on your sleeve. Speak your mind, discuss your innermost thoughts. There is little point in hiding behind a facade when ultimately you want to be loved for who you truly are. The adage "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" is perhaps the truest of all.
Don't go through life wondering where all the joy might have been.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Hypothetical Dilemmas
Ah, the dynamics of attraction... I was reading an article called Rules of Attraction - it's about attraction at college, but I was hypothesising and putting it into my own adult(!) perspective. Cos my link thing isn't working for some reason, you can find the article here if you're interested:
http://media.www.columbiaspectator.com/media/storage/paper865/news/2005/09/12/Opinion/Rules.Of.Attraction-2030568.shtml
Here's a scenario:
A likes B. A is both sexually and intellectually attracted to B.
B likes A, however is simply intellectually attracted to A.
A and B are getting to be good friends.
B likes C. B is sexually and intellectually attracted to C. B is also emotionally drawn to C.
C likes B. C is sexually and intellectually attracted to B, and admits being also somewhat emotionally drawn to B.
However, C has a potentially unrequited love interest in D.
D is an unknown factor.
Disclaimer: While there are some apparent similarities to 'real life', the above is really not intended to resemble or represent any particular person or persons.
Discuss.
http://media.www.columbiaspectator.com/media/storage/paper865/news/2005/09/12/Opinion/Rules.Of.Attraction-2030568.shtml
Here's a scenario:
A likes B. A is both sexually and intellectually attracted to B.
B likes A, however is simply intellectually attracted to A.
A and B are getting to be good friends.
B likes C. B is sexually and intellectually attracted to C. B is also emotionally drawn to C.
C likes B. C is sexually and intellectually attracted to B, and admits being also somewhat emotionally drawn to B.
However, C has a potentially unrequited love interest in D.
D is an unknown factor.
Disclaimer: While there are some apparent similarities to 'real life', the above is really not intended to resemble or represent any particular person or persons.
Discuss.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Magie
And then there's different kinds of magic... sometimes it's totally unexpected, and that's the best kind.
Firstly, I met with Machi and a sofa friend who's just transplanted from Seednee (although a pom anyway - I seem to somehow have few 'genuine' kiwi friends...), and we three met a couple of other gals from a google group for dinner at a local gay-friendly restaurant. We had a few laughs, the food was just OK for me - I've never really been a Kamo fan for those of you in Auckland (trying to get the next meeting at a Thai... love that!). We were all going to go on to Flirt after, but the organiser's flatmate txt'd to say he felt like going out, and there was her babysitter gone so she had to leave - but I now have her on myspace friends :) The other one we hadn't met before, let's call her D, said she'd pop into Flirt for five minutes - which incidentally turned into two hours - way to go girl! Good stuff for your first visit eh? Oh, she's not on myspace, so that's a bit silly of me...
And what on earth does that have to do in a PL blog... I already posted the F one earlier and I don't feel like editing it.
So anyway, there's this woman I saw on the sofa, but she's basic (membership) and I never sent a smile cos noone ever returns my smiles... (everybody say awww). And as it turned out, I found her on myspace... and we started chatting, returning eachother's surveys, and happy christmas and a happy new year. She's cute, smart, funny (but then again I only associate with cute, smart, funny women...).
We were both going to Flirt, and we said we'd make sure we said Hi if we saw eachother, and from the moment we said Hi, well there was something going on, and it was mighty good.
(and there's plenty that I'm not saying here, cos there's people on this list who know more - and this isn't really making any sense apart from to two people!)
That didn't say a lot, but I had an overwhelming urge to write something here, and gibberish came out...
Total nonsense. I'll be better soon.
Firstly, I met with Machi and a sofa friend who's just transplanted from Seednee (although a pom anyway - I seem to somehow have few 'genuine' kiwi friends...), and we three met a couple of other gals from a google group for dinner at a local gay-friendly restaurant. We had a few laughs, the food was just OK for me - I've never really been a Kamo fan for those of you in Auckland (trying to get the next meeting at a Thai... love that!). We were all going to go on to Flirt after, but the organiser's flatmate txt'd to say he felt like going out, and there was her babysitter gone so she had to leave - but I now have her on myspace friends :) The other one we hadn't met before, let's call her D, said she'd pop into Flirt for five minutes - which incidentally turned into two hours - way to go girl! Good stuff for your first visit eh? Oh, she's not on myspace, so that's a bit silly of me...
And what on earth does that have to do in a PL blog... I already posted the F one earlier and I don't feel like editing it.
So anyway, there's this woman I saw on the sofa, but she's basic (membership) and I never sent a smile cos noone ever returns my smiles... (everybody say awww). And as it turned out, I found her on myspace... and we started chatting, returning eachother's surveys, and happy christmas and a happy new year. She's cute, smart, funny (but then again I only associate with cute, smart, funny women...).
We were both going to Flirt, and we said we'd make sure we said Hi if we saw eachother, and from the moment we said Hi, well there was something going on, and it was mighty good.
(and there's plenty that I'm not saying here, cos there's people on this list who know more - and this isn't really making any sense apart from to two people!)
That didn't say a lot, but I had an overwhelming urge to write something here, and gibberish came out...
Total nonsense. I'll be better soon.
Magic
I guess a lot can be read into the number of blogs posted as to how that person's life is panning out. No friend blogs since Saturday (which admittedly is only three days ago)... no PL blogs since the weekend before then, and only one Diary entry for myself - and the only one ever, at least so far.
Not sure what you make of all that - maybe the PL blog later will clarify, at least in part.
So, small magic moments just to keep things ticking over:
- The formal farewell work thing... I suppose saying goodbye to four out of five managers in just one group is a major deal. A combined work experience just at this company of about 60 years. Funny how some companies think it's OK just to let that go - but that's not what this blog is about. We had a pretty big turnout - ok, some just come for the beer and nibbles, but I was chuffed to see some of my old team come along (those who now live in other countries sent their apologies heh), and two ex managers (one of whom made a pretty nice speech about moi). I got a bit misty eyed again, and made a little speech myself, and got another leaving card with a whole bunch of really nice comments. Pretty cool.
- Machi came over on Sunday night armed with beer, pizza, and a hard drive with one more episode of Heroes (seeing as I'd exhausted the 10 I already had - another story). A bit of tennis on TV, a chat, and a parrot or parakeet in the neighbour's apple tree... Machi was not convinced initially, but here's proof for the rest of you (I don't have a particularly good zoom):
More cool.
- Impromptu dinner with friends last night, but they really just wanted to catch up on gossip... oops - wrong blog ;)
And for the hell of it, one non-magic moment... the friend request I got this morning from a nut (no offense to those of a non-radical disposition) who wanted to save my soul. I was actually a good girl, and did not write back. Oh well, makes a difference from the African marriage proposals I guess.
Second day in the new job - not a huge amount to say about the first day, it's all a bit of a haze but hopefully something's sinking in. Apparantly my elevator pitch is getting better - a friend/colleague said I was starting to sound like I knew what I was talking about... It's a start
Not sure what you make of all that - maybe the PL blog later will clarify, at least in part.
So, small magic moments just to keep things ticking over:
- The formal farewell work thing... I suppose saying goodbye to four out of five managers in just one group is a major deal. A combined work experience just at this company of about 60 years. Funny how some companies think it's OK just to let that go - but that's not what this blog is about. We had a pretty big turnout - ok, some just come for the beer and nibbles, but I was chuffed to see some of my old team come along (those who now live in other countries sent their apologies heh), and two ex managers (one of whom made a pretty nice speech about moi). I got a bit misty eyed again, and made a little speech myself, and got another leaving card with a whole bunch of really nice comments. Pretty cool.
- Machi came over on Sunday night armed with beer, pizza, and a hard drive with one more episode of Heroes (seeing as I'd exhausted the 10 I already had - another story). A bit of tennis on TV, a chat, and a parrot or parakeet in the neighbour's apple tree... Machi was not convinced initially, but here's proof for the rest of you (I don't have a particularly good zoom):
More cool.
- Impromptu dinner with friends last night, but they really just wanted to catch up on gossip... oops - wrong blog ;)
And for the hell of it, one non-magic moment... the friend request I got this morning from a nut (no offense to those of a non-radical disposition) who wanted to save my soul. I was actually a good girl, and did not write back. Oh well, makes a difference from the African marriage proposals I guess.
Second day in the new job - not a huge amount to say about the first day, it's all a bit of a haze but hopefully something's sinking in. Apparantly my elevator pitch is getting better - a friend/colleague said I was starting to sound like I knew what I was talking about... It's a start
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Allergic to Work
OK, now that might sound odd, but I truly think I am... actually, less allergic to work itself (though it would be cool to claim that on ACC don't you think?), more allergic to my workplace. Here's the way it panned out.
Four years ago (bear wth me), I started sneezing. No, it's not one of those Guinness Book of Record deals where I've been sneezing ever since... I started sneezing, and really violently such that after a few hours I'd hurt my throat so bad I'd lose my voice. This happened a few times in as many weeks. I went to the doc thinking I was maybe just extra run down, and had some sort of 'super virus' or something, and she said... all supercilious and knowing... You're allergic to Auckland. Yes, I did laugh - well it was actually more of a cackle as at that time I hadn't been able to say a word for two days.
This is the thing. A lot, and I mean a lot, of people who come to Auckland from Europe (primarily) or even the South Island, develop allergies after six or seven years here. It's like being six or seven years old, and the body goes into allergy building-block mode, and many people just don't build the necessary immunities and start to have fairly common reactions... like sneezing fits for example.
Off I went to the testing clinic and had a host of yukky things pricked into my arm, and lo and behold, there was swelling and I was diagnosed with allergy to dust mites. For those of a sensitive disposition, please look away now. It's actually an allergic reaction to dust mite droppings - how gross is that??? You can look back now. So now each year I visit the allergy specialist (Dr Ameratunga for those in the know... world reknown apparantly.. writes numerous articles for the Allergy Today magazine). I take two antihistamines every morning, and a delightful squirt of nasal spray in each nostril, and I'm safe. Well fairly safe.
And this relates to work how? OK... so I know from experience that if I travel to Wellington, I don't need to take my medication as I'm not allergic to WN right? And for those on the preferred list, being allergic to WN might have been a good thing... but I digress. I didn't take my medication from 27th December... until last Friday morning. And what happened to trigger the need to take it? I WENT TO WORK LAST THURSDAY! Do you think my conclusion is sound? I know - weird isn't it?
So that's that. I'm officially (at least in my book) allergic to my place of work. Now with the new job I was supposed to be moving to another building (which I previously worked in pre allergy diagnosis - the proof gets better...). But as per last blog, I'm actually just moving floors in this building, so I'm stuck with it.
I write about some fascinating shit don't I?
I leave you with this.
Tomorrow is my last day in my current job. For those that know me in the flesh, so to speak, you know that I have both hated and loved it. I have been frustrated by the lack of autonomy, yet having to constantly battle to perform miracles against the odds. Somehow, I have managed to make my team the most successful they have ever been. I might be seen as patting myself on the back (and why not?), but I am immensely proud of my, and my team's, achievements. I will miss them, and numerous other colleagues in my work area.
When I got to work this morning, there was a bottle of Pinot Gris by my keyboard, with a lovely purple ribbon tied into a bow at the neck. She's going to be as embarassed as hell (damn, I hope so!)... THANKS JULENA! You remembered my favourite wine from the 100 question survey a while ago. That was extremely thoughtful. When you get that new job, we'll go and celebrate :)
That's enough for now. I think I have a survey or two to answer
Four years ago (bear wth me), I started sneezing. No, it's not one of those Guinness Book of Record deals where I've been sneezing ever since... I started sneezing, and really violently such that after a few hours I'd hurt my throat so bad I'd lose my voice. This happened a few times in as many weeks. I went to the doc thinking I was maybe just extra run down, and had some sort of 'super virus' or something, and she said... all supercilious and knowing... You're allergic to Auckland. Yes, I did laugh - well it was actually more of a cackle as at that time I hadn't been able to say a word for two days.
This is the thing. A lot, and I mean a lot, of people who come to Auckland from Europe (primarily) or even the South Island, develop allergies after six or seven years here. It's like being six or seven years old, and the body goes into allergy building-block mode, and many people just don't build the necessary immunities and start to have fairly common reactions... like sneezing fits for example.
Off I went to the testing clinic and had a host of yukky things pricked into my arm, and lo and behold, there was swelling and I was diagnosed with allergy to dust mites. For those of a sensitive disposition, please look away now. It's actually an allergic reaction to dust mite droppings - how gross is that??? You can look back now. So now each year I visit the allergy specialist (Dr Ameratunga for those in the know... world reknown apparantly.. writes numerous articles for the Allergy Today magazine). I take two antihistamines every morning, and a delightful squirt of nasal spray in each nostril, and I'm safe. Well fairly safe.
And this relates to work how? OK... so I know from experience that if I travel to Wellington, I don't need to take my medication as I'm not allergic to WN right? And for those on the preferred list, being allergic to WN might have been a good thing... but I digress. I didn't take my medication from 27th December... until last Friday morning. And what happened to trigger the need to take it? I WENT TO WORK LAST THURSDAY! Do you think my conclusion is sound? I know - weird isn't it?
So that's that. I'm officially (at least in my book) allergic to my place of work. Now with the new job I was supposed to be moving to another building (which I previously worked in pre allergy diagnosis - the proof gets better...). But as per last blog, I'm actually just moving floors in this building, so I'm stuck with it.
I write about some fascinating shit don't I?
I leave you with this.
Tomorrow is my last day in my current job. For those that know me in the flesh, so to speak, you know that I have both hated and loved it. I have been frustrated by the lack of autonomy, yet having to constantly battle to perform miracles against the odds. Somehow, I have managed to make my team the most successful they have ever been. I might be seen as patting myself on the back (and why not?), but I am immensely proud of my, and my team's, achievements. I will miss them, and numerous other colleagues in my work area.
When I got to work this morning, there was a bottle of Pinot Gris by my keyboard, with a lovely purple ribbon tied into a bow at the neck. She's going to be as embarassed as hell (damn, I hope so!)... THANKS JULENA! You remembered my favourite wine from the 100 question survey a while ago. That was extremely thoughtful. When you get that new job, we'll go and celebrate :)
That's enough for now. I think I have a survey or two to answer
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