Friday, December 30, 2011

Vier Mauern (Four Walls)


I just finished reading Signal to Noise by Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean. It's a graphic novel depicting the life of a film director who is dying of cancer, and is working on a movie in his head about the impending Armageddon as seen from the perspective of European villagers in A.D. 999 - worth a look if you're interested in this type of reading/viewing.

A total bonus in the book was a little-seen graphic poem which I've transcribed below. I hope you find it as interesting as I did. It speaks to me of a gated-community approach to Christianity - I have no idea if the writers thought of this interpretation... How do you read it?

Vier Mauern
Neil Gaiman & Dave McKean

O P E N I N G

“Something there is that does not have a wall.”

Robert Frost said that, but he also
suggested, in the same poem, ‘Mending
Wall’, that “Good fences make good
neighbours”, so what did he know?

T H E   F I R S T  W A L L

I wonder who built the first wall. What
was in his mind. Or her mind. Protection?
Privacy? Or something else.

We build our civilisations with walls,
giving us shelter and stronghold.
Keeping out ‘the other’: the elements,
wild beasts, people who are different.
Walls define us, as they divide us.

Walls separate people; and not just the
walls we build. Perhaps the walls we
have to be scared of most are the ones we
can’t see, that we simply believe in.

T H E  S E C O N D  W A L L

I had a dream about that when I was small.

In my dream there was one note; one musical
one; one sound; and when it sounded all the
walls everywhere came crumbling down. And
all the people everywhere saw…

They saw each other, doing all the things that
people do behind walls. Nobody had anywhere
to hide anymore.

I woke up then, so I never knew if it was a good
thing or a bad thing, not having any walls. Not
having anywhere to go and hide, and being
able to go everywhere; no pretending, no
protection, no secrecy.

T H E  T H I R D  W A L L

They tell me the Great Wall of China is the only human artefact that
can be seen on the Earth from space.

I’ve never see the Earth from space. I don’t know anyone who has.
I’ve only ever seen pictures.

They tell me that when you get that high, it’s hard to tell one country
from another. You’d think they’d be coloured in, like on the old maps
we had at school.

So you could tell.

T H E  F O U R T H  W A L L

When I heard the Berlin Wall was coming down, my first reaction was one of
relief; but then I thought, what if there was a young woman who had spent years
- half her life – painting something on the wall?

Painting a message, or a picture.

If every morning she got up early, and went out and painted just one or two
lines on the wall. Every day, in the rain, or the cold, sometimes in the dark.
It was her cry against oppression. Her protest against the wall.

She’d almost finished when they pulled it down.
People could come and go as they wished.  The wall she’d been protesting
against was gone, as was her creation, split into art-sized chunks, sold to a
private collector…

I wonder how she felt. I hope she wasn’t disappointed.

I would have been.

C L O S I N G

Maybe we should look beyond the walls.

Listen: painters and writers and music-makers and filmmakers and the
ones who paint graffiti slogans that blossom like bright flowers on the
sides of derelict buildings – all of you.

There’s a fourth wall that needs to be broken down.
Governments and official voices point out forever that good fences make
good neighbours, and tighten the border controls in an effort to make us
happy where we are.

But something there is that does not love a wall, and it’s called humanity.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Endtimes Craving

21st May:
What with all this talk of end times, and Stephen Hawking having a whack at heaven's existence along with God as a creator, it's making me wonder whether I should cram in some chocolate - you know, just in case?

Updated 21st October: Camping's keeping us guessing again - apparently, I didn't miss out on the Rapture last time, he just got his dates wrong (again). Today's the day folks!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

How to be unashamed?

That's a question for me to answer - I'm struggling with this.

I'm not ashamed of being gay. I'm not ashamed of being a follower of Christ. I brandish Romans 1:16 as my banner. I can quote scripture that has shown me over the years how I am made with His plan in mind, with His loving hand on me. I am learning to walk with Him as my teacher, my unconditionally loving Father. But I'm not being totally honest to those I hold as friends. More specifically, my gay friends.

I tweeted today that one of the hardest things to do as a Christian was to tell your gay friends. I know so many of them are atheist or agnostic, and they've known me longer as gay than as Christian. I've never had a problem coming out about my sexuality. The church I currently attend knew about that before I first ever went there (a whole other story). And for some reason, that way around works for me. What I stumble on, is how to be totally up-front about my Christianity with my gay friends.

To all extents and purposes, my gay friends here (in NZ) are like my family; heck, we even say "He's family..." when talking about someone who's gay! It's a home away from home, thousands of miles from my blood relatives with whom I may or may not have a particularly close familial bond.

Over the past few years, there has been another family that I've grown part of. That's my church family, my homegroup, my community, and the trinity of faith all around me. These families are quite separate. I don't go to church with any of my gay friends. I don't talk about my Christian faith when I'm at events where there are primarily gay people. But it's worse than that.

I post a lot of links on facebook. I post links to blogs, news articles, videos, songs, a whole range of stuff. BUT, I'm wary of posting certain links because I worry about how they will be perceived. If I post a link to a Christian song on YouTube, I'll exclude (most of) my gay friends. However, I don't curb my enthusiasm for posting gay links to the whole of my friend list. Why?

I don't know yet. I'm working on it.

Someone asked me today if there was anything I needed prayer for. I'm guessing this is one of those moments. Maybe I need to make a video like this one - and then of course I'd have to post it to everyone...

Thursday, May 19, 2011

So You Don't Want To Go To Church Anymore?

Not a question I'm asking of you, but the title of a book which I've almost finished, by Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman. I got to this book via another one (which is kinda how I find a lot of books - word of eyes, so-to-speak), namely The Shack (which I also liked very much).

This book, like that one, puts talk of God, Jesus, the Spirit, theology, religion and more into a fictional setting but with real implications - at least, there are implications for me and my journey as I seek to find Him in my every day.

I read a paragraph earlier today and immediately thought about sharing it - and even though putting it in here means it won't get much airtime, it's too important to squeeze into a tweet or facebook status. So here it is:

"Just like a butterfly taking wing from its cocoon, Jake. Isn't it sad that we thought we could press people into spiritual change, instead of helping them grow to trust the Father more and find him changing them? You can't press a caterpillar into a butterfly mold and make it fly. It has to be transformed from the inside." (p.133)

Speaks volumes to me. This whole book speaks to how I think of the church. I recognise, and struggle with, my own longing to be told/taught how to be a Christian. Yet how I also understand it can only come from me, when I fully open myself up to His possibilities.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Bootstrap Paradox

In Audrey Niffenegger's novel The Time Traveler's Wife, the protagonist, Henry DeTamble, time travels involuntarily. After he marries, he begins to frequently travel to various times in his wife's childhood, during which he befriends her, which leads to their eventual marriage. Shortly after his wife's younger self first meets him, he dictates to her a list of the dates on which he will reappear; when she eventually meets his present self (who has not yet traveled into the past to meet her), she gives him the same list of dates, which he memorizes so that he can dictate it to her when he travels into the past. Neither character can figure out how or where the list originated.

Taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ontological_paradox

Oh man!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Keeping my cool - a reminder...

(totally taken from The Happiness Project tip for today)

When I feel myself losing my temper, if I can muster the mindfulness to be self-reflective, I ask myself these questions:


1. Am I at fault? I hate to be criticized or to be in the wrong. Often, I’m angriest when someone is chiding me about something that I am, indeed, guilty of. When I’m about to hit back, I remind myself to accept criticism politely, if grudgingly.


2. Will this solve anything? I often snap when I feel like I’m confronting the same annoyance over and over. Fact is, people often have irritating habits that aren’t going to change. Failure to meet deadlines, failure to return phone calls, untidiness, etc., etc. I try to remember that snapping isn’t going to make any difference, but will only make me feel bad.


3. Am I improving the situation? This is particularly important with my younger daughter. If I lose my temper with her, the problem just escalates to a whole new horrible level. She dissolves into tears and wails, “You talked to me in a mean voice!” It’s far more effective to stay calm. Also, nicer.


4. Should I be helping you? Often, I lose my temper because I’m actually feeling guilty about my own unhelpfulness. My guilt makes me crabby, but it’s really a sign that I should be taking action.


5. Am I uncomfortable? Discomfort shortens my fuse. I’ve become much more careful to dress warmly (even when people make fun of my long underwear and double sweaters), to snack more often, to turn off the light when I’m sleepy, and to take pain medication as soon as I get a headache. The Duke of Wellington advised, “Always make water when you can,” and I follow that precept, too.


6. Can I make a joke of this? Using humor is extraordinarily effective, but I usually can’t find the inner depths to laugh at an annoying situation. A distant goal for which I’m striving.


It’s tempting to dwell on questions like, “Whose fault is it?” or “Why am I upset?” but in the end, these tend to stoke my temper instead of soothe it. I try to remind myself that no behavior is annoying if I don’t find it annoying. A hackneyed observation, but true.