(totally taken from The Happiness Project tip for today)
When I feel myself losing my temper, if I can muster the mindfulness to be self-reflective, I ask myself these questions:
1. Am I at fault? I hate to be criticized or to be in the wrong. Often, I’m angriest when someone is chiding me about something that I am, indeed, guilty of. When I’m about to hit back, I remind myself to accept criticism politely, if grudgingly.
2. Will this solve anything? I often snap when I feel like I’m confronting the same annoyance over and over. Fact is, people often have irritating habits that aren’t going to change. Failure to meet deadlines, failure to return phone calls, untidiness, etc., etc. I try to remember that snapping isn’t going to make any difference, but will only make me feel bad.
3. Am I improving the situation? This is particularly important with my younger daughter. If I lose my temper with her, the problem just escalates to a whole new horrible level. She dissolves into tears and wails, “You talked to me in a mean voice!” It’s far more effective to stay calm. Also, nicer.
4. Should I be helping you? Often, I lose my temper because I’m actually feeling guilty about my own unhelpfulness. My guilt makes me crabby, but it’s really a sign that I should be taking action.
5. Am I uncomfortable? Discomfort shortens my fuse. I’ve become much more careful to dress warmly (even when people make fun of my long underwear and double sweaters), to snack more often, to turn off the light when I’m sleepy, and to take pain medication as soon as I get a headache. The Duke of Wellington advised, “Always make water when you can,” and I follow that precept, too.
6. Can I make a joke of this? Using humor is extraordinarily effective, but I usually can’t find the inner depths to laugh at an annoying situation. A distant goal for which I’m striving.
It’s tempting to dwell on questions like, “Whose fault is it?” or “Why am I upset?” but in the end, these tend to stoke my temper instead of soothe it. I try to remind myself that no behavior is annoying if I don’t find it annoying. A hackneyed observation, but true.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Air Travel with a Parachute Thrown In
This is a short blog about going to Queenstown for the day and a whistle stop visit to Parachute 08... and trying to get it all down on 'paper' before I forget how awesome it was! (and I don't tend to use the word awesome lightly).
You may have heard about Air New Zealand's Grab-a-plane competition (and if not, I've provided a very handy link for you). As the web page says, it was won by Salvo Air - a nicely titled airline-for-a-day put together by our pastor... we filled a plane, it was entered into the competition, and our entry was drawn. Now you have the background. And here's a few highlights...
The flight down was hardly standard. Our pilot had put in several hours of planning time to make it as exciting as possible. We circled Mount Cook! How totally cool is that? He made sure the folks on both sides of the plane had excellent views, and with the special permission he got to descend to 16,000ft, it was mindblowing. We could have reached out of the plane and touched the mountain tops.
When we got to Queenstown, we had a bus waiting to take us into the city centre. The weather was perfect, and quite different to what I'm used to in Auckland. Down there, the sun is scorching (as it is up here), but in the shade it's *cold*, at least in the morning hours. And the air is dry. Lovely. No sneezing LOL. We walked around looking at the Saturday crafts market, and getting a feel for the place, then most of us boarded the bus again (some took scooters) and took the short drive into Arrowtown for lunch. Beautiful old gold-rush town.
Then back to Queenstown where we went on the gondola (for a very reduced price thanks to Air NZ), the breaktaking views and the opportunity to hurtle yourself down part of the hillside on a luge which was enjoyed by most... even if I did take the scenic, or 'granny', track twice heh.
After that we walked down a beach area on Lake Wakatipu for a barbeque courtesy of Air NZ again... Some of the guys had a quick swim in the lake - never did ask if it was absolutely freezing... it certainly looked like it would be! And then we were off back to the airport. And here's another quick sidebar - the airport was kept open for our flight... We were leaving two hours after the airport would normally close on a weekend.
And this isn't a plug for Air NZ - but I really to have to say that the idea of winning a plane for the day was huge in itself, then they went over and above to make the day as special as they could. A 6am start, and back home around 10pm - it was full of amazing experiences and memories to treasure.
The Parachute trip the next day was a last-minute decision. We had thought of going to P08 specifically to see Switchfoot on the Saturday, but of course the free flight down south took its place. But the pull was too strong! We were driving around on Sunday morning listening to LifeFM who were broadcasting live from Mystery Creek, and when my darling suggested a quick tikitour, it was too good to pass up.
That was an amazing and memorable experience too...
My current 'mood' descriptor describes how I feel about the whole weekend.
Blessed indeed.
You may have heard about Air New Zealand's Grab-a-plane competition (and if not, I've provided a very handy link for you). As the web page says, it was won by Salvo Air - a nicely titled airline-for-a-day put together by our pastor... we filled a plane, it was entered into the competition, and our entry was drawn. Now you have the background. And here's a few highlights...
The flight down was hardly standard. Our pilot had put in several hours of planning time to make it as exciting as possible. We circled Mount Cook! How totally cool is that? He made sure the folks on both sides of the plane had excellent views, and with the special permission he got to descend to 16,000ft, it was mindblowing. We could have reached out of the plane and touched the mountain tops.
When we got to Queenstown, we had a bus waiting to take us into the city centre. The weather was perfect, and quite different to what I'm used to in Auckland. Down there, the sun is scorching (as it is up here), but in the shade it's *cold*, at least in the morning hours. And the air is dry. Lovely. No sneezing LOL. We walked around looking at the Saturday crafts market, and getting a feel for the place, then most of us boarded the bus again (some took scooters) and took the short drive into Arrowtown for lunch. Beautiful old gold-rush town.
Then back to Queenstown where we went on the gondola (for a very reduced price thanks to Air NZ), the breaktaking views and the opportunity to hurtle yourself down part of the hillside on a luge which was enjoyed by most... even if I did take the scenic, or 'granny', track twice heh.
After that we walked down a beach area on Lake Wakatipu for a barbeque courtesy of Air NZ again... Some of the guys had a quick swim in the lake - never did ask if it was absolutely freezing... it certainly looked like it would be! And then we were off back to the airport. And here's another quick sidebar - the airport was kept open for our flight... We were leaving two hours after the airport would normally close on a weekend.
And this isn't a plug for Air NZ - but I really to have to say that the idea of winning a plane for the day was huge in itself, then they went over and above to make the day as special as they could. A 6am start, and back home around 10pm - it was full of amazing experiences and memories to treasure.
The Parachute trip the next day was a last-minute decision. We had thought of going to P08 specifically to see Switchfoot on the Saturday, but of course the free flight down south took its place. But the pull was too strong! We were driving around on Sunday morning listening to LifeFM who were broadcasting live from Mystery Creek, and when my darling suggested a quick tikitour, it was too good to pass up.
That was an amazing and memorable experience too...
My current 'mood' descriptor describes how I feel about the whole weekend.
Blessed indeed.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Rolling with the Changes
There's a blog category called "School, College, Greek" - I'm a little baffled by the Greek reference, but I'll take the other two for a start.
So yes, I'm off back to school. I'd love to know what it was that finally got me accepted into the programme, but I'll never know, and it's not keeping me awake at night. I like to think I dazzled them at the interview... This paragraph sounds kinda blasé in my head, but believe me, it's nothing like that. I guess I should blog more often so that the news is fresh in my own head so I can relate it with all its appropriate alacrity to you, my public (oh please... stop... someone get a tissue so I can wipe my eyes...).
I'm constantly getting emails from around the company asking where my leaving bash is so they can come and wish me a drunken farewell. I'm not really into those under-the-table events (seriously folks), so it's not on my priority list, but it seems to be a required pastime. The thing is I don't know who to invite. Sounds odd I know. I started preparing a list to which I want to send my final farewell email. There are over 200 recipients. I doubt that a tenth of those would actually come have a drink, but wouldn't it be a hoot if they all turned up?
Anyway, still haven't decided where or when or even if. At this stage it's looking like it might be even after I leave as there are only two weeks left and they're both short due to Anniversary weekend and Waitangi Day... tip: Second week in January is a good time to hand in a month's resignation (in New Zealand) cos you get two paid holidays.
And as I don't really have any structure to my blogging experiments, let's now turn to a wonderful time in Holland with my darling and her kidlets. It wasn't a full-on tourist experience, not that I expected it to be. It was more a family time, the girls now at an age where they can meet (and remember) their Oma and Opa, for darling to catch up with some friends, and for me to meet the immediate family also. It was overall totally fab. This isn't a detailed blog about the things we did over there (Darling, if you want to blog about that, please feel free heh).
If there is one thing I bring back with me, it's the quality time spent with the girls in... dare I say it... a family context. What I mean is this - in case anyone isn't following me. Up to the trip, the girls got to know me in little chunks, a few hours here and there. You'll be familiar with some of those times, and the challenges they presented to us all. Being away with them, being constantly 'there' from morniing til night, from breakfast to bedtime, sharing a bed with their Mum to joking around on a train trip, and all of the above being perfectly... normal. All in all, that went very well, to the extent that the youngest would even crawl into bed with us in the morning, and the eldest (the one I had the most difficulty vis-a-vis acceptance) was fairly easy-going about the whole thing.
Two days ago, I picked them all up from the airport. I was holding my breath a wee bit wondering how they'd react to me after three weeks of absence. I had to keep a tight reign on my emotions because quite frankly, I was blown away by their response to me. I don't want to jinx anything - but they were, well, it seemed at least, actually excited to see me. Sure, everyone was tired, and who wouldn't be after 24 hours of travelling. To shorten this a little, last night we all caught up properly with photos and stories of their time away since I'd come home, and it was good. More than good.
I don't doubt for a second that there will be challenging times again - for goodness' sake, there's puberty and adolescence to go through yet (hahahaha)...
Oh, I'm going to stop there. I'm quite frankly very emotional about the whole thing. It's f*ckin' fab
The blog category hardly fits anymore, but I don't care - there isn't a category that reads "life changing experiences and other tales"... so I'll stick with it.
That's all for now folks... my brain hurts!
So yes, I'm off back to school. I'd love to know what it was that finally got me accepted into the programme, but I'll never know, and it's not keeping me awake at night. I like to think I dazzled them at the interview... This paragraph sounds kinda blasé in my head, but believe me, it's nothing like that. I guess I should blog more often so that the news is fresh in my own head so I can relate it with all its appropriate alacrity to you, my public (oh please... stop... someone get a tissue so I can wipe my eyes...).
I'm constantly getting emails from around the company asking where my leaving bash is so they can come and wish me a drunken farewell. I'm not really into those under-the-table events (seriously folks), so it's not on my priority list, but it seems to be a required pastime. The thing is I don't know who to invite. Sounds odd I know. I started preparing a list to which I want to send my final farewell email. There are over 200 recipients. I doubt that a tenth of those would actually come have a drink, but wouldn't it be a hoot if they all turned up?
Anyway, still haven't decided where or when or even if. At this stage it's looking like it might be even after I leave as there are only two weeks left and they're both short due to Anniversary weekend and Waitangi Day... tip: Second week in January is a good time to hand in a month's resignation (in New Zealand) cos you get two paid holidays.
And as I don't really have any structure to my blogging experiments, let's now turn to a wonderful time in Holland with my darling and her kidlets. It wasn't a full-on tourist experience, not that I expected it to be. It was more a family time, the girls now at an age where they can meet (and remember) their Oma and Opa, for darling to catch up with some friends, and for me to meet the immediate family also. It was overall totally fab. This isn't a detailed blog about the things we did over there (Darling, if you want to blog about that, please feel free heh).
If there is one thing I bring back with me, it's the quality time spent with the girls in... dare I say it... a family context. What I mean is this - in case anyone isn't following me. Up to the trip, the girls got to know me in little chunks, a few hours here and there. You'll be familiar with some of those times, and the challenges they presented to us all. Being away with them, being constantly 'there' from morniing til night, from breakfast to bedtime, sharing a bed with their Mum to joking around on a train trip, and all of the above being perfectly... normal. All in all, that went very well, to the extent that the youngest would even crawl into bed with us in the morning, and the eldest (the one I had the most difficulty vis-a-vis acceptance) was fairly easy-going about the whole thing.
Two days ago, I picked them all up from the airport. I was holding my breath a wee bit wondering how they'd react to me after three weeks of absence. I had to keep a tight reign on my emotions because quite frankly, I was blown away by their response to me. I don't want to jinx anything - but they were, well, it seemed at least, actually excited to see me. Sure, everyone was tired, and who wouldn't be after 24 hours of travelling. To shorten this a little, last night we all caught up properly with photos and stories of their time away since I'd come home, and it was good. More than good.
I don't doubt for a second that there will be challenging times again - for goodness' sake, there's puberty and adolescence to go through yet (hahahaha)...
Oh, I'm going to stop there. I'm quite frankly very emotional about the whole thing. It's f*ckin' fab
The blog category hardly fits anymore, but I don't care - there isn't a category that reads "life changing experiences and other tales"... so I'll stick with it.
That's all for now folks... my brain hurts!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Work/Life Balance
That's a phrase that's been banded about quite a bit of late, at least here at my place of employment. I think it's an interesting use of words, perhaps implying that work is not part of your life, and can therefore be divorced or separated off by the use of a simple slash or stroke (aside: such an ungainly name for a punctuation mark don't you think? Also called an oblique, diagonal, whack, separatrix, virgule, scratch comma, slant, or forward slash...). In some situations, it should of course be referred to as a work/money balance, seeing as there are quite a number of professions where the money has absolutely no bearing on the quality or quantity of work actually performed... such as teaching. See? I do get there eventually...
You may know by now that my blog titles are generally ethereal, somewhat tentatively linked ideas as opposed to an introduction to what the blog may be about. I'll not disappoint on this occasion either.
I had my interview at University of Auckland yesterday. I won't go on about it. Suffice to say I did OK at the maths test (with the possible exception of the fractions and simplify exercises), think I did fab at the written assessment, and handled myself with worldly aplomb during the group interview (LOL). I was pretty nervous to start with, but the other interviewees exhibited such obvious tremours that I was somehow put at ease. Ah, there is something to be said for having 25 years' experience in the workplace... seriously.
So, I wait to hear if I've been accepted into the programme, and whether they will recommend to the Uni that I be accepted as a student. *This* is because my UK certs don't automatically qualify me for entrance (the irony here is that if I was applying to be a student here from the UK, they *would* be enough...), so I've put in a 'special' application which appears to take into account more lifetime/career experience rather than hard and fast qualifications.
In the afternoon, I was due to have a performance review meeting with my manager in order to go through projects and outcomes to date, plus a look at the next 6 months. Having already decided to hand in my notice in the New Year (regardless of Uni application) I decided to pop out the honesty card and gave her the low-down. She was actually very accepting, and after about 15 minutes of discussing my future plans, we literally just chatted for the remainder of the meeting time.
It turned out to be an emotionally tasking day, but a totally rewarding one.
In two days I fly to Holland for two weeks. I am really looking forward to not only getting away, but also meeting my darling's family, and putting the past few months of worry and uncertainty firmly behind me so I can start the year afresh.
I remember writing sometime ago that 2007 would be an interesting year. It certainly has turned out to be just that, and 2008 looks to be even more exciting!
Happy Christmas all. My very best wishes to you and yours.
xxx
You may know by now that my blog titles are generally ethereal, somewhat tentatively linked ideas as opposed to an introduction to what the blog may be about. I'll not disappoint on this occasion either.
I had my interview at University of Auckland yesterday. I won't go on about it. Suffice to say I did OK at the maths test (with the possible exception of the fractions and simplify exercises), think I did fab at the written assessment, and handled myself with worldly aplomb during the group interview (LOL). I was pretty nervous to start with, but the other interviewees exhibited such obvious tremours that I was somehow put at ease. Ah, there is something to be said for having 25 years' experience in the workplace... seriously.
So, I wait to hear if I've been accepted into the programme, and whether they will recommend to the Uni that I be accepted as a student. *This* is because my UK certs don't automatically qualify me for entrance (the irony here is that if I was applying to be a student here from the UK, they *would* be enough...), so I've put in a 'special' application which appears to take into account more lifetime/career experience rather than hard and fast qualifications.
In the afternoon, I was due to have a performance review meeting with my manager in order to go through projects and outcomes to date, plus a look at the next 6 months. Having already decided to hand in my notice in the New Year (regardless of Uni application) I decided to pop out the honesty card and gave her the low-down. She was actually very accepting, and after about 15 minutes of discussing my future plans, we literally just chatted for the remainder of the meeting time.
It turned out to be an emotionally tasking day, but a totally rewarding one.
In two days I fly to Holland for two weeks. I am really looking forward to not only getting away, but also meeting my darling's family, and putting the past few months of worry and uncertainty firmly behind me so I can start the year afresh.
I remember writing sometime ago that 2007 would be an interesting year. It certainly has turned out to be just that, and 2008 looks to be even more exciting!
Happy Christmas all. My very best wishes to you and yours.
xxx
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The Price of Health
There is no healthcare category. I guess there can't be a category for everything, but if I can pick a mood that isn't on a list then... oh, but that's not what I was going to write about.
Yesterday I discovered funded healthcare.
Since I arrived in New Zealand, I've worked for a large corporate that subsides the Southern Cross Regular healthcare plan. I used to pay extra for Supercare (can't remember what that included - try the website), then I 'downgraded' to Hospital and Specialist care. I think I pay an extra $400 or maybe more per year for that. Under that plan I pay to see a doctor ($58 for the privilege in Remuera) and prescriptions ($15 per item). If I needed to see a specialist, such as for my allergies, that's about $125 per visit, but I can claim all of that back from Southern Cross. And of course, under the hospital part of the plan, I can go get myself sliced and diced (for medical reasons rather than for pleasure) up to a grand total of $60k... I'm thinking that would be fairly major... Then on top of that, I pay $11 per fortnight (which is of course almost $300 per year) to belong to another healthcare thing through work, which will refund me 60% of my prescriptions. That $11 also means I'm a member of a holiday home club thing, but I've never used it.
So, as I said, last night I discovered Procare. There was a new Medical Centre built near my home. I was only registered with the doc in Remuera cos my ex was registered there and I needed to see a doc, obviously, many years ago. I think the last time I went to see her was about four years ago...
Oh yes - Procare. This is a government funded organisation. Go check it out if you don't know about it. Short version? Oh ok then...
I paid $30 to see the doctor. I enrolled, which means that the centre can get funding for little ol' me, and in three months' time, a visit to the doctor will cost me $15. I got five items on prescription. At $3 per item. It's amazing.
And because I won't be getting private healthcare next year, and because I won't have a lot of money to burn, knowing I can see a doctor and get drugs if I need them for a relatively minimal cost is a whole weight off my mind.
That's all... quick and simple. I've a lot to learn.
Yesterday I discovered funded healthcare.
Since I arrived in New Zealand, I've worked for a large corporate that subsides the Southern Cross Regular healthcare plan. I used to pay extra for Supercare (can't remember what that included - try the website), then I 'downgraded' to Hospital and Specialist care. I think I pay an extra $400 or maybe more per year for that. Under that plan I pay to see a doctor ($58 for the privilege in Remuera) and prescriptions ($15 per item). If I needed to see a specialist, such as for my allergies, that's about $125 per visit, but I can claim all of that back from Southern Cross. And of course, under the hospital part of the plan, I can go get myself sliced and diced (for medical reasons rather than for pleasure) up to a grand total of $60k... I'm thinking that would be fairly major... Then on top of that, I pay $11 per fortnight (which is of course almost $300 per year) to belong to another healthcare thing through work, which will refund me 60% of my prescriptions. That $11 also means I'm a member of a holiday home club thing, but I've never used it.
So, as I said, last night I discovered Procare. There was a new Medical Centre built near my home. I was only registered with the doc in Remuera cos my ex was registered there and I needed to see a doc, obviously, many years ago. I think the last time I went to see her was about four years ago...
Oh yes - Procare. This is a government funded organisation. Go check it out if you don't know about it. Short version? Oh ok then...
I paid $30 to see the doctor. I enrolled, which means that the centre can get funding for little ol' me, and in three months' time, a visit to the doctor will cost me $15. I got five items on prescription. At $3 per item. It's amazing.
And because I won't be getting private healthcare next year, and because I won't have a lot of money to burn, knowing I can see a doctor and get drugs if I need them for a relatively minimal cost is a whole weight off my mind.
That's all... quick and simple. I've a lot to learn.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Update to interesting news from before
First I just want to say that I find it interesting that there is a blogging category called "blogging". I'm bending it slightly, but makes me think of sending an email with the subject line "emailing". Silly. Yes.
So, where are things after that last exciting episode one month ago?
Work
I'll try to do a short version - you know how I go on...
A few months ago (yes I know, a history lesson first) I had my HBDI profile done (click on the link if you want details, otherwise the rest of this isn't going to make sense). I'm a very strong red, with a backup of green. Thing is, I've been working in the blue space for a long time, well all my professional career to be exact.
Ok, Ok... a brief run down...
Blue = Rational - tends to be logical, technical, factual - i.e. my 25 years of working in the IT industry, which don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed to a point
Yellow = Cognitive - visual, strategic - not talking about this one cos I don't have any
Green = Practical - conservative, organised
Red = Visceral - emotional, musical, expressive, spiritual
There.
So, where was I? I'm a strong red. My team at work had an offsite thing and we went through some of our HBDI traits as a group. Our personal profiles were on display for all to see, and my boss' boss (nice guy, worked with him before - probably the primary reason I took this job in the first place) says, "Oh Jo, how is it you're not a teacher?" then a quick backtrack, "Oh, ha ha, that doesn't mean you can leave...!" Anway, you get the picture. Sowed a seed.
Short version? Oh yeah, right... So I'm about 90% on the way to going back to school. I've applied to Auckland University to be a student. I'm looking to do a Bachelor of Education specialising in Primary care.
I'll pop some more news in here about how that's going, application, etc.
Hm - reading back through that looks like a major leap, but believe me it's been quite a process.
I think I can make a difference. Supporting myself with little or no income for 3 years is naturally a little daunting, but with the emotional support of my darling, and many more friends around me, I'll get there. I'm also prepared to eat humble pie if I have to and go back into the corporate grind after say one year if it doesn't work out. Not being fatalist - just practical... (my green side coming out heh).
Smoking
Still not. Want to from time to time. Don't. Fab.
Love
Still grand. Making headway in leaps and bounds with the girls, which is fab too. Still not going to do a major blog on that just yet. I'm very very happy.
Mum (was Travel)
Got a nice, very civil email back from Mum after my last blurt to her about tons of stuff. Says quite simply (between the lines) we won't ever talk about that again, and let's just go back to talking about stuff that doesn't matter. I guess I can live with that for now. Shame tho.
And that's all for today. The current mood is hungry cos I was going to get some lunch before I started writing this, then forgot, and now people are turning around wondering what that grumbling noise is all about.
I should blog on other stuff - still have other major changes that have been going on in my life. Those that have an eye for detail might notice... I'll leave a little teaser...
You know...? Coming out as gay was never a problem. But there's a different kind of coming out taking place. It's wonderful. It's liberating. It's challenging.
Oh, and completely aside, I'm back in touch with some old school mates. That's what I was originally going to write about now I come to think of it. Another time.
Quick hunt for food and back to work. For now.
So, where are things after that last exciting episode one month ago?
Work
I'll try to do a short version - you know how I go on...
A few months ago (yes I know, a history lesson first) I had my HBDI profile done (click on the link if you want details, otherwise the rest of this isn't going to make sense). I'm a very strong red, with a backup of green. Thing is, I've been working in the blue space for a long time, well all my professional career to be exact.
Ok, Ok... a brief run down...
Blue = Rational - tends to be logical, technical, factual - i.e. my 25 years of working in the IT industry, which don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed to a point
Yellow = Cognitive - visual, strategic - not talking about this one cos I don't have any
Green = Practical - conservative, organised
Red = Visceral - emotional, musical, expressive, spiritual
There.
So, where was I? I'm a strong red. My team at work had an offsite thing and we went through some of our HBDI traits as a group. Our personal profiles were on display for all to see, and my boss' boss (nice guy, worked with him before - probably the primary reason I took this job in the first place) says, "Oh Jo, how is it you're not a teacher?" then a quick backtrack, "Oh, ha ha, that doesn't mean you can leave...!" Anway, you get the picture. Sowed a seed.
Short version? Oh yeah, right... So I'm about 90% on the way to going back to school. I've applied to Auckland University to be a student. I'm looking to do a Bachelor of Education specialising in Primary care.
I'll pop some more news in here about how that's going, application, etc.
Hm - reading back through that looks like a major leap, but believe me it's been quite a process.
I think I can make a difference. Supporting myself with little or no income for 3 years is naturally a little daunting, but with the emotional support of my darling, and many more friends around me, I'll get there. I'm also prepared to eat humble pie if I have to and go back into the corporate grind after say one year if it doesn't work out. Not being fatalist - just practical... (my green side coming out heh).
Smoking
Still not. Want to from time to time. Don't. Fab.
Love
Still grand. Making headway in leaps and bounds with the girls, which is fab too. Still not going to do a major blog on that just yet. I'm very very happy.
Mum (was Travel)
Got a nice, very civil email back from Mum after my last blurt to her about tons of stuff. Says quite simply (between the lines) we won't ever talk about that again, and let's just go back to talking about stuff that doesn't matter. I guess I can live with that for now. Shame tho.
And that's all for today. The current mood is hungry cos I was going to get some lunch before I started writing this, then forgot, and now people are turning around wondering what that grumbling noise is all about.
I should blog on other stuff - still have other major changes that have been going on in my life. Those that have an eye for detail might notice... I'll leave a little teaser...
You know...? Coming out as gay was never a problem. But there's a different kind of coming out taking place. It's wonderful. It's liberating. It's challenging.
Oh, and completely aside, I'm back in touch with some old school mates. That's what I was originally going to write about now I come to think of it. Another time.
Quick hunt for food and back to work. For now.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
News for those with nothing better to read
Work...
sucks. It's boring. Can't think for a moment what possessed me to take it on, but then again the JD didn't exactly say what was actually entailed. Do they ever? And it's not getting any better - I now have a new boss. Firstly, she's a woman - don't get me wrong, I've just never reported to a female boss before. I never knew how overbearing they could be (was I ever like that?). Second, and it was bound to happen at some point, she's younger than me. Third, she's a pain in the arse. She says "I'm not the type of person to micromanage..." and then asks every five minutes what you're doing. She big-notes all the time, and we (my peers and I) are quickly learning that there is nothing in the world that she hasn't either done first hand or had some close personal experience of. It's infuriating! But, on another tack, I had lunch the other day with a good friend and ex-colleague - he still works for the company, but we don't work in the same field or building anymore. He told me he was looking at things a different way. Coming to work involves five aspects - the job itself, the work environment, your colleagues, your boss and your pay. He decided that he liked four out of five of those, and now concentrates on those instead of simply hating his job. Using his analogy, I like three out of five... but right this minute that's not helping, although it could be related to
Smoking...
which I stopped doing (again) a week ago. Take a tip ladies... if you're going to give up smoking, do it when you're PMT - you'll be doubly cranky, but you can blame it all on the monthlies, and after the first week, it's not really so bad. Downside is I've already put on 2 kilos - need to work on that. Don't want to be a blob again. I'm known to my friends as being quite a slow eater... I appear to have sped up again. Not good - by the time I realise I'm full, I'm actually over-full. Wow, this blog is really interesting so far eh?
Love...
is grand. It's amazing. It's fan-f*cking-tastic. I could write a whole thing about just that, and maybe I will. Another time.
Travel...
plans are afoot. I am joining my darling and her two girls in Holland for Christmas and New Year. Wow. That's pretty huge. Not huge for my girlfriend and I specifically, cos I think we'd travel well together; but important in that I'll be staying with her at her parent's house, and that they will be meeting me, the first real girlfriend ever. And it's cool that her parents appear keen to meet me (or maybe just curious?). Her brother seems keen for sure. On another pretty huge scale is me not going to see Mother while I'm in Europe. The timing just wasn't going to work out what with Mum and step-Dad being on cruise from 15th Dec to 10th Jan, and me being back at work on the 10th... so, well, Mum and I are actually having a major email heart-to-heart right now, and we're covering off some dark and sensitive stuff about my/our pasts...Heavy I can tell you. Long and short of that is that I'm not sure right now she'd even want me visiting her for Christmas (if ever again - I'm trying to set myself up for the worst reaction, although the worst reaction would be to get no reply at all right?). And to cap off the travel plan segment... The girls' three tickets were confirmed some time ago. Because of the Mum/email thing that's been going on, and now that I've decided to join them (without any side trip to Mother) and finalised taking leave from work etc, I can't get on the same flight! So we're all leaving on the same day, but we are flying around the world in opposite directions, and we'll meet up in Amsterdam some 24 hours later. Weird!!
I also want to write blogs on a host of other subjects, things I'm going through at the moment, choices we make, choices that are made for us or at least choices we are gently guided towards making. Oh yes, that's a whole different bag of tricks.
But this was intended to be a quick blurt between meetings at work... cos my darling was writing a blog and it made me look at when I last wrote one, and I nearly fainted.
To those that read this - hope it wasn't too yawn-worthy. However, if it was - tough!
sucks. It's boring. Can't think for a moment what possessed me to take it on, but then again the JD didn't exactly say what was actually entailed. Do they ever? And it's not getting any better - I now have a new boss. Firstly, she's a woman - don't get me wrong, I've just never reported to a female boss before. I never knew how overbearing they could be (was I ever like that?). Second, and it was bound to happen at some point, she's younger than me. Third, she's a pain in the arse. She says "I'm not the type of person to micromanage..." and then asks every five minutes what you're doing. She big-notes all the time, and we (my peers and I) are quickly learning that there is nothing in the world that she hasn't either done first hand or had some close personal experience of. It's infuriating! But, on another tack, I had lunch the other day with a good friend and ex-colleague - he still works for the company, but we don't work in the same field or building anymore. He told me he was looking at things a different way. Coming to work involves five aspects - the job itself, the work environment, your colleagues, your boss and your pay. He decided that he liked four out of five of those, and now concentrates on those instead of simply hating his job. Using his analogy, I like three out of five... but right this minute that's not helping, although it could be related to
Smoking...
which I stopped doing (again) a week ago. Take a tip ladies... if you're going to give up smoking, do it when you're PMT - you'll be doubly cranky, but you can blame it all on the monthlies, and after the first week, it's not really so bad. Downside is I've already put on 2 kilos - need to work on that. Don't want to be a blob again. I'm known to my friends as being quite a slow eater... I appear to have sped up again. Not good - by the time I realise I'm full, I'm actually over-full. Wow, this blog is really interesting so far eh?
Love...
is grand. It's amazing. It's fan-f*cking-tastic. I could write a whole thing about just that, and maybe I will. Another time.
Travel...
plans are afoot. I am joining my darling and her two girls in Holland for Christmas and New Year. Wow. That's pretty huge. Not huge for my girlfriend and I specifically, cos I think we'd travel well together; but important in that I'll be staying with her at her parent's house, and that they will be meeting me, the first real girlfriend ever. And it's cool that her parents appear keen to meet me (or maybe just curious?). Her brother seems keen for sure. On another pretty huge scale is me not going to see Mother while I'm in Europe. The timing just wasn't going to work out what with Mum and step-Dad being on cruise from 15th Dec to 10th Jan, and me being back at work on the 10th... so, well, Mum and I are actually having a major email heart-to-heart right now, and we're covering off some dark and sensitive stuff about my/our pasts...Heavy I can tell you. Long and short of that is that I'm not sure right now she'd even want me visiting her for Christmas (if ever again - I'm trying to set myself up for the worst reaction, although the worst reaction would be to get no reply at all right?). And to cap off the travel plan segment... The girls' three tickets were confirmed some time ago. Because of the Mum/email thing that's been going on, and now that I've decided to join them (without any side trip to Mother) and finalised taking leave from work etc, I can't get on the same flight! So we're all leaving on the same day, but we are flying around the world in opposite directions, and we'll meet up in Amsterdam some 24 hours later. Weird!!
I also want to write blogs on a host of other subjects, things I'm going through at the moment, choices we make, choices that are made for us or at least choices we are gently guided towards making. Oh yes, that's a whole different bag of tricks.
But this was intended to be a quick blurt between meetings at work... cos my darling was writing a blog and it made me look at when I last wrote one, and I nearly fainted.
To those that read this - hope it wasn't too yawn-worthy. However, if it was - tough!
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